


Surprise Sister

by incredibly_cold



Series: The Next Generation [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Road Trip, john has a bad relationship with his daughter, philip discovers everything he didn't know that he didn't about his family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7985506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incredibly_cold/pseuds/incredibly_cold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Philip had two moms, two dads, and one little sister. Or at least that's what he thought. Every year there's a mysterious chunk of time in October where his dads don't talk to him, and when he does some digging to find out why, he finds out that Johndad has a secret daughter who no one has ever met! Well, now that he knows he has an older sister, Philip has to meet her, no matter how much his dads resist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I briefly talk about some issues with John's dad and bad coming out experiences. Just wanted to let you know in case it's a problem.

There were a lot of things that Philip was really good at. Reading, doing research, being intuitive, and figuring things out from small amounts of information were just a few. He was also notably bad at some things, like leaving topics alone when people clearly didn't want to talk about them.

 

Philip was ten years old when he started getting suspicious about the two weeks every year that he couldn't go see his dad and Johndad. It was always the same two weeks in October, and he never got any explanation for it. They didn't go on vacation or anything, Philip was just supposed to stay away. He didn't mind staying with his moms and sister, but he did feel a little offended by the whole thing. If he wasn't allowed o be over, he at least deserved an explanation about  _why_.

 

So, he did what any rational ten year old would do when presented with a situation like that. He decided to start out with asking directly.

"Hey mom, why can't I go over to see dad and Johndad?" He asked Theodosia. Out of his moms, she was the one who seemed more likely to give him an answer to something that may or may not be private knowledge.

 

She didn't give him a real answer, she just looked at him for a while and said. "Go ask your mom, I'm not really sure."

 

So he did, and she told him that she couldn't really answer that question, and he should go ask his dads. Now that seemed a little direct. Not that Philip minded being direct, but he felt like they might not give him an answer since they hadn't bothered to explain it all this time. And he was right, because as soon as the second week was over and he went over and asked, he found that they were not going to tell him.

 

"Why aren't I allowed to come over for two weeks?" He asked them as soon as he got into the car when they picked him up. It got really quiet, and dad turned around and looked at him in total shock, like he was surprised hat Philip had noticed the pattern. Johndad just kept staring straight ahead, a little more tense than usual.

 

There was a long pause in which his dad kept looking at Johndad in the passenger's seat, and then he turned back to Philip. "I'm sorry, buddy, but we don't really talk about that. We both love you, and it's nothing personal, but you can't come over and we cant tell you why. That's just something that you can't talk about, okay?" He was trying to sound peppy enough for him to just accept it, but it didn't actually answer anything at all. Philip agreed though, because if asking directly wouldn't get anywhere, then he was just going to have to find out about it some other way.

* * *

No one was ever sure where Philip got his information from. There were things like Pompeii, and the Middle Ages, where it was pretty easy to find things out online or at the library, but there were other times where he just mysteriously found things out about. The first time it had seemed like there was an obvious answer, that one of them had told him, but it didn't take much to dispel that theory.

 

Now, finding out that Alex had met John because he was homeless and needed a roommate, and George Washington had introduced them was one thing. Finding out that John had a secret fifteen year old daughter was another. No one knew about that, at least not outside of their friend group, so no one thought that there was any possible way for him to discover it.

 

So when Philip sat down at the kitchen table and loudly asked, "Johndad, why didn't you tell me you had a kid?" John was understandably shocked. It was one of those things that he never thought he'd have to deal with. In fact, he'd come to a point where he didn't think of her at all, except right around her birthday. For that amount of time he tried to stay away from any reminders of her, including Philip. Through no fault of his own, having a kid around who considered him one of his dads was just too much. But it was something that was completely shut away from the rest of the world.

 

He considered pretending that he hadn't heard, but he knew that wouldn't work. He could have gotten Alex, but what could he do about it? So he took a deep breath and sat down at the table. "What makes you think I have a kid?"

 

"Well you do, don't you?" Philip asked, unhelpfully.

 

God this was bad. And realistically he wasn't going to get a source out of him, because Philip knew that if they knew, they'd somehow keep him from finding out what he wanted to know. "It's kind of complicated," John finally replied.

 

"I don't get why it's complicated. Either you have one or you don't, and you do. So why haven't I ever met her?" Her. So he knew more than just the fact that she existed, he knew that she was a girl, and probably her name and how old she was too. Perfect.

 

John leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. "You've never met her because I've never met her. None of us have. Technically she's my daughter, but only by blood. We don't really... Talk about her." He didn't want to explain why. He'd just had to give the kid the sex talk, and that was way too much. He couldn't explain things like rape and trauma and all of that to a ten year old.

 

"Why not?"

 

Great. How to give enough explanation while also giving as little explanation as possible? "Well, sometimes babies are accidents, and she was one of those babies. And I just don't like to talk about it because it was a really bad thing for me, and I don't want to see her because she's a permanent reminder of what happened."

 

Philip just looked at him for a while. "What happened?"

 

"I'm sorry Philip, but I can't talk about that. Maybe when you're older," he sighed. He didn't want to talk about it ever, actually, but he would settle for delaying the conversation for as long as humanly possible.

 

"I want to meet her."

 

That was exactly the kind of thing that John was afraid of. Of course Philip would want to meet her, because he would see her as a long lost sister. On the other hand, John was perfectly happy to never see her or talk about her for as long as he lived. If this whole thing had happened in about six years, when he could drive himself (Alex's son behind the wheel of a car, that was a scary thought) then it would have been okay. They could have given him the phone number on the cards that still came every year from Martha, and he could call and figure out when he could visit and satisfy his curiosity by himself.

 

A ten year old couldn't just go down to South Carolina by himself though, so someone would have to go. No one else had any connection to either mother or daughter, so it wouldn't have made sense to send any of them. Besides, what was he supposed to say? 'Hey, I'm sending down this kid that you don't know to met Frances. He's not technically related to me, but my husband was the sperm donor and I'm kind of his dad/uncle thing. Oh by the way, did I mention that I'm gay and our one sexual encounter was so traumatic I never want to see either of you ever again?'

 

"You can't meet her," he said, choosing to spare him all the reasons.

 

But Philip always wanted reasons. It was who he was as a person. "Why not?"

 

"If you meet her then I have to meet her, and I don't want to meet her."

 

That was exactly when Alex walked into the room. John was a little annoyed because he was supposed to be sleeping in today, but he was far more thankful to have someone else to help him out here. "Don't want to meet who?" He asked casually, as he picked up a coffee mug and started to fill it from their jumbo-sized pot.

 

"Frances." John told him, dully. "He's your son all right, can't even keep that a secret from him." He tried to make it sound like a lighthearted comment, but he was screaming inside.

 

It made him feel strangely better when the coffee pot slipped in his husband's hand, and he slammed it on the counter with a lot of cursing. "Frances? How does he know about Frances?" He stuck his hand under the sink while he talked to run cold water over where the hot coffee had spilled on him.

John looked at Philip, who didn't say anything. "I don't think we'll be getting that one out of him. Anyway, I'm trying to tell him that he can't meet her."

 

"Dad, I just don't get why I'm not allowed to meet her. She's Johndad's daughter, which basically makes her my sister, and I should get to meet her if I want to. Don't you want to see her? You're like her stepdad!" Philip whined.

 

"First of all, I'm not her stepdad. That would have required John to be an actual parent who later got together with me, and that didn't happen. Second of all, she's his kid, and we have to respect his decisions about her. If he says he doesn't want us to meet her, that's his call."

 

Having another person to support his side of the argument was like a gift from god. "Thank you Alex. Anyway, I think it's time to talk about something else."

 

"So you want to meet her too!" Philip declared, looking excitedly at his father.

 

"I never said-"

 

"-You said 'us!' 'If he doesn't want  _us_  to meet her!'That means you want to meet her too!"

 

Alex looked helplessly at John, who only looked confused at him. "Okay, yeah, I want to meet her. I like kids, and I always have. I've wanted to meet her for like thirteen years, ever since I found out about her. But look Philip, we have to respect John on this. It's personal for him, and we can't force him to make a decision that he doesn't want to make. When you're an adult, we can't stop you, but for now you're going to listen to what he says on this, okay?"

 

Philip was about to protest when John spoke. "You want to meet her?" His voice was hollow, and he looked straight ahead instead of making eye contact with either of them. That was never a good thing. Philip knew it too, and he immediately shrunk back in his seat and prepared for the ensuing argument.

Alex sighed. "Well yeah, but I'd never do it. I know you don't want any contact with her, and you don't want anyone else contacting her either. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to hurt you."

 

There was a long silence before John abruptly got up from the table. "I'm sorry guys, I'm not doing this right now. Maybe not ever. I'm gonna just go for a while, and you guys can do whatever. I mean not about-" He cut himself off and sighed. "You know what I mean. I'll be back later." And with that, he threw on a jacket and walked out the front door.

* * *

John didn't come back until late, after Philip had gone back home to his moms. He looked tired and frazzled, and Alex got the distinct impression that he'd spent the whole day walking, or at least most of it. John usually walked when he was upset, it was a healthier coping method than getting into fights, but a whole day was still a lot. He flopped down onto the couch and looked at Alex, who had stopped his typing when his husband came in the door.

 

"So you want to meet her."

 

Alex was quick to downplay it. "I mean, I'd like to, but it really isn't a big deal. I just like kids, you know?"

 

"But you want to. And you never said anything." Seeing Alex getting ready to protest, he held up a hand. "I know, it's because you didn't want to hurt me."

 

"Well yeah. I'm sorry John, I wasn't going to make an issue out of it!" It felt like he was fighting a losing battle here, and he wasn't even completely sure what he'd done wrong. Was it wanting to meet her, or not telling him? Maybe it was both.

 

John sighed loudly. "Alex, I'm not mad at you. Or I am a little bit. Also I love you." It was a weird way to start things off. "Look, I've been so busy all these years thinking of myself, and Martha, and Frances, and how we all feel about it. How I don't want to deal with it, and how they both probably hate me. I never stopped to think about what you felt. I'm sorry. I mean we're married, I should have some idea about what you feel."

 

"John-"

 

"-No, I've been completely ignoring you in this whole situation. You're a part of my life, and that makes her a part of your life. And honestly I love that you care about me and you want me to be happy and all, like I really appreciate that, but if you've wanted to meet her since you found out about her, you could have broached the subject by now. It's been thirteen years! I know I used to be a fragile mess of a human being, and you had to be careful and whatever, but I can handle myself now. I'm not going to get myself killed because someone brought her up. I mean it's still unpleasant, but I want you to be happy too."

 

Alex stared at him. "What are you saying?"

 

"I'm saying that you should call Martha and tell her who you are. Ask if you can come and meet Frances and if you can bring Phillip with you. I still don't want anything to do with her, but I want you to meet her if that's what you want." He didn't look very confident in that decision, even if he was pretending to be.

 

For the past thirteen years, Alex had been in charge of personally removing her cards from the mail and putting them where John didn't have to look at them. Of course, he always looked at the pictures. Watched her getting more and more freckles over the years. There were some years where she only changed a little, and other years when she changed a lot. Like the year her hair went from wavy to being as curly as John's. If she hadn't looked like him before, she did after that. But looking at pictures wasn't a big deal. Calling Martha? That was completely different.

 

"John, I don't think she'll want to see me. I mean I assume that she wants to see you, since she's still sending cards, but I'm not you." Alex pointed out. He wasn't always the best at picking things up and knowing how people would react, but he was pretty sure this would not go well.

This time it was John's term to be confused. "So what do you think we should do?"

 

He thought about it for a while. It was a tricky situation. They both knew that Phillip would never stop asking about it, and while it would have been ideal if Alex could have just taken him alone, that just wasn't realistic. And John was right, he wasn't the same person he had been in college. Alex loved him then, and he loved him now, but he'd been coddling him for too long. It was time for him to deal with this. "I think you need to come with us. I can still make the call, but this has been going on for way too long. You need to meet her."

 

"No way!"

 

"John, she's fifteen years old! You've been dealing with this crushing guilt about not being around, but you've never tried to fix it! Don't you think meeting her would give you some kind of closure?"

 

"Yeah, or maybe a knife in the back!" He protested.

 

"Okay, now you're just being dramatic, she isn't going to stab you!" Alex argued. "Hell, maybe she won't even hate you like you think she does. She might be happy to meet you."

 

John snorted loudly. "I doubt it."

 

This really wasn't working. "What if I say you're coming, and you meet her for five minutes, and then you can leave and never see her again?"

 

"That'll make it worse!"

* * *

They went back and forth on the subject for a week before they finally decided that John would go with them. He wasn't thrilled, but he decided that he did kind of owe Frances for all the years that he had ignored her. He didn't want to see Martha, and he would just give Frances the option of seeing him. He made it very clear that if she didn't want to see him then he wouldn't push that.

 

He sat by nervously as Alex made the call. It sounded like things were going well. And by well, of course, he meant that this might actually be happening, which was a terrifying prospect. By the time Alex hung up, it was John's understanding that they were going down to South Carolina over Thanksgiving break, so that neither of the kids would have to miss any school. Damn it, why did both of them have to be like actual parents? And wasn't coming over during Thanksgiving break kind of encroaching on family time? Plus, Eliza and Theodosia would want Phillip with them for the holiday. He was their son, technically.

 

He voiced these concerns to his husband, who dismissed them immediately. "John, it gives us a reason to not spend all of the time with her, it's a good thing. And you don't need to worry about Eliza and Theo, they'll be fine with having Thanksgiving on Sunday night if it means you can try to figure things out with your kid."

 

Unfortunately, he was probably right about that. They tended to be pretty relaxed about letting them have Philip when they wanted, and they would probably be delighted to hear that John was finally meeting his long lost daughter. Well, John was definitely not delighted. She was long lost for a reason, damn it. He didn't want anything to do with her.

 

Philip was enthusiastic enough for both of them, however, as they made their way South on the highway the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. He kept asking questions about her, to which the answer was always 'I don't know.' They'd taken him out of school at noon, which was perfectly acceptable because he was only in elementary school. A damned elementary school student running their lives. It was ridiculous. Still, Alex at least shared in his enthusiasm a little. He wasn't as loud about it, out of politeness to John, but it wasn't hard to tell. John just felt like he'd willingly gotten into this car with them to go to his own personal hell.

 

They arrived late. Too late to reasonably try to make the visit that night, which was a godsend. Instead, they got a room at hotel, and went to bed.

Well, Alex and Philip went to bed. John didn't really feel tired. He honestly doubted that he would sleep at all this week. Instead, he texted Junior, the oldest of his two little brothers. He'd mostly fallen out of contact with his other siblings, after his father had disowned him. His oldest sister Marcy still talked to him occasionally, but Mary and James never spoke to him any more. He'd been expecting it, but James had always loved him so much, and it was still a little shocking. Junior on the other hand, had been the only one who still treated him like a brother.

 

That's why John decided that it was a good time to let him know that the three of them would be in town. After all, it was kind of a Family Holiday. and it had been a couple years since Junior had seen Philip. He had his own kids now, which was still kind of bizarre. Little rebel Henry Jr the proud father of two little girls. It was kind of cool to see him growing as a person because of that responsibility. But John was also pretty sure that he'd be wanting a night of heavy drinking after he saw Frances, and his little brother was still the best bet for a drinking buddy.

* * *

He certainly wasn't wrong. The next morning he woke up from his uneasy sleep with a feeling of dread deep in his gut. He didn't want to get up. If he got up, he'd just be one step closer to seeing her, his daughter. He also really did want to pee though, and after a few minutes, that urge won out, and he was up and out of bed. Unfortunately, Philip was a light sleeper, so that woke him up.

 

"What time is it?" He asked, sounding only slightly tired under his excitement.

 

"Nine." John sighed. It wasn't actually early. They'd all slept in after the long drive yesterday. Getting to the hotel at midnight would do that. But even noon would have been too early today.

 

"Then when can we go see her?"

 

"I don't know, ask your dad. He's the one doing most of the planning." Was it a little rude to wake Alex up when he already slept so little? Maybe. John couldn't really bring himself to care.

 

He didn't really pay any attention to the conversation between the two of them, just enough to hear that they were meeting for lunch at noon. It seemed so bizarre to do something like this over lunch, like it was just a group of people catching up. He felt like he was trapped in some alternate universe hellscape. Even when Alex kissed him and told him that it was going to be alright, he still felt like this was the biggest mistake of his life. Well no, there had been plenty of others just as bad. In a weird way, that was the only thing that made him feel even slightly better. He'd been shot three times and almost killed, endured a traumatic brain injury, and he still led a normal happy life. He could survive one awkward lunch.

 

Or maybe he couldn't. He'd been feeling okay-ish until they pulled into the parking lot of the diner where this was supposed to be happening, and now he was pretty sure that he was having a heart attack. He couldn't breathe, and his hands were sweaty and starting to go numb. Was that normal? He didn't ask, because he decided that leaving early because he'd died of a heart attack might not be a bad thing. He was glad h was wearing a sweater over his t-shirt because it hid the sweat stains that he knew were forming under his arms. God, they were walking so slowly. He hated it, he just wanted to get inside and have this over with. He also wanted to slow down a lot more, and maybe never go in. God this was bad. The whole experience was giving him some idea of how a death row prisoner probably felt on their way to be executed.

 

The inside of the diner was pretty standard. Black and white floor tiles, a jukebox in the corner, and a bunch of vintage posters and records on the walls. He saw Martha as soon as they walked in, and was surprised that he recognized her, since she was something he tried to block out from his memories. He couldn't bring himself to move toward her or the girl beside her. Actually he couldn't even make himself look directly at his daughter, he just stared fixedly at Martha, which wasn't actually better. It was Alex who had to take his hand and pull him over to the booth. Of course, Alex made John get in first so he couldn't make a break for it, which put him directly across from Frances, so he couldn't avoid looking at her anymore.

 

She looked like him. She'd gotten his frizzy, unmanageable curls instead of her mother's straight hair, although it was lighter than either of theirs, and had a little more reddish mixed in with the brown. He knew she'd probably gotten that from Martha's dad, although Henry Laurens also used to have reddish blonde hair. he hadn't been expecting that. She had just as many freckles as he did, covering her face and neck, and probably her arms too, although she was wearing a jacket so he couldn't be sure. She had his nose, and his lips. The only place she didn't resemble him was in her eyes, which were blue like her mothers, and in her thick eyebrows. He also noticed that she was glaring at him.

 

Instead of trying to talk to her, he decided to introduce everyone. "This is Alex, he's my-" Oh god he'd forgotten that he'd have to explain to his daughter that he'd avoided for fifteen years that he was gay. He wasn't ashamed of it anymore, but this was still South Carolina, and it was still much less acceptable here. The silence was starting to get a little long, so he cleared his throat and continued. "He's my husband. And this is Philip." He opted out of explaining that one, since it was so complicated.

 

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Martha, and this is Frances." She directed it more towards Phillip, since he was the only one who might not know.

 

"Hi! I'm ten." Phillip smiled brightly at both of them, but especially at Frances, who didn't look all that thrilled about him being there.

 

She gave him a polite smile that John knew from experience as a Southerner was actually not friendly, and held out her hand. "I'm fifteen. I hear you're the reason that we're doing all this. Meeting, I mean. It was your idea?"

 

"Yeah, Johndad never told me he had a daughter!"

 

"We still don't know how he found out." Alex added, all smiles. It was kind of funny because both of them were so excited to get to meet her that they weren't noticing the obvious hatred radiating off of her. Well, that and they weren't used to South Carolina.

 

Philip went on, "We're brother and sister!"

 

John had been watching his daughter like a person might watch a poisonous snake, and he could see the exact moment that she snapped. Surprisingly early actually, for someone raised by someone as level-headed as Martha. "Well then maybe he'll leave you and Alex too instead of being a responsible parent and sticking around with the person he got stuck with a baby." he said it with a smile, but this time it was obvious enough that everyone t the table knew she was angry.

 

"Frances-" Martha started.

 

"-Okay, sorry. I forgot that we're totally okay with the fact that he abandoned you to raise a child on your own for fifteen years and then decided it was a good time to waltz in and decide to be a family." She snapped, not so loudly that other people at the diner could overhear. That was good at least.

 

It was uncomfortably silent for a while before John spoke up. "I'm not trying to be a part of your life, I know it's way too late for that. I mean unless you wanted me to I guess. Anyway, we're only here because Alex and Philip wanted to meet you and I thought it would be good to at least acknowledge you, since I've been so horrible all this time." He didn't add that actually Alex had thought that and he'd only worn John down into agreeing.

 

"So you came over because your son who you actually like wanted to come down, that makes everything so much better. Getting to meet your family that's so much better than us really makes us feel better about everything."

 

"Okay, first of all, Philip isn't even technically our son, we're borrowing him. I mean he's Alex's biological son, but that's because he was the surrogate father for our lesbian friends, who are actually his legal parents. I'm not related to him at all, not by blood, and not legally. I'm just his dad's husband."

 

She was quiet then, just staring at him like he was from another planet. "So you don't have kids?"

 

"No. We get to have him over a lot, and I love him like a son, but I couldn't ever have kids. I'm not trying to justify anything here, but it would just make me feel bad about how bad I messed up here with you. Because I did mess up, and I wouldn't ever deny that, and nothing I say or do will ever make it okay, and if you hate me forever then that's perfectly fine because I deserve it, but don't be mad at them. Alex has been wanting me to do this since you were two." Again, he didn't include that his husband had never said so out loud.  


 

She continued to glare at him for a while longer before she responded. "Fine, then I'll talk to the two decent people you brought," she spat, and then she turned back to Phillip and Alex.

 

From that point on, lunch went surprisingly well. John didn't speak again, but he listened to them, and even though he was shriveling and dying inside, it seemed like the rest of them were having a good conversation. There were several questions about their family situation, and even if they didn't really get it, they also didn't openly say anything against it. When lunch was over, they even had a pleasant goodbye, which John was not included in.

 

"Well that could have been a lot worse." John said, once they were in the car.

 

Alex smiled at him "Well she doesn't like you, but don't you feel better knowing that for sure?"

 

"Actually I feel like I need a drink, and Junior already said he's free tonight. So I'm going to be feeling better a little later." he answered. Maybe he wasn't being the best role model, but he didn't even care at the moment. All he wanted was to hang out with the one family member he actually still liked, and to try to forget today completely. Not that he would, realistically, but it would be nice to pretend he could.

* * *

They ended up eating dinner with him and his family, which gave Philip two people closer to his age to talk to. Not that he minded talking to adults, but it did make things easier when they weren't continuously having to make the conversations more child friendly. They got to actually talk about what was going on in their lives, and the whole Frances fiasco. It was actually really great until Junior accidentally messed it up.

 

"Hey, maybe you could come t thanksgiving dinner? I know everyone wants to see you, even if they won't say so. What was James, Phillip's age last time you saw him? He'd love to see you."

 

"Yeah, if he wanted to see me he would have said something by now. It's been twelve years, and he's had more than enough opportunity to call or text or send a card or come with you to see me. Anyway, as much as I'd love to ruin dad's holiday, I don't want to ruin Philip's." He tried to laugh like it didn't hurt him at all that no one else had really cared enough to talk to him. There was Marcy, but she still only spoke to him rarely. And the thing was, he'd gotten over it, but talking about it just kind of hurt. What he hadn't thought about yet was how Alex's son was at the table and easily able to hear everything they were saying.

 

He heard the gasp and looked over in horror at Philip's wide eyes. This was bad. "I have another grandpa?!"

 

John and Alex had never really felt the need to bring Henry up. Whenever Philip would ask why neither of had parents, they told him that their mothers were both dead and they didn't have dads. Technically it wasn't even a lie since John's dad had made it abundantly clear that John was no son of his. They had just kind of decided that unless it actually came up, they didn't need to explain it. They did not think that it would come up now.

 

"No, you don't. You still have exactly the same number of grandpas," John told him.

 

"But you said you wanted to ruin your dad's holiday!"

 

Yeah, he couldn't really argue his way out of that one. "Philip, just because he's my dad does not mean he's your grandpa. He doesn't want anything to do with me or your dad, and I guarantee he wouldn't be thrilled about you. He's a bad person." He hoped that would be clear, and not offensive, but he also could see where telling a ten year old that his grandpa would hate him would be kind of an insult.

 

"What do you mean? He's your dad." Well, at least his feelings weren't hurt.

 

"I can tell you all about it after dinner, but this really isn't something that everyone needs to hear, okay? I promise I'll explain it."

 

It was a miracle that it actually worked, and they finished dinner without incident. After that, John and his little brother went out for what was originally going to be a night of drinking, but really became a night of more in-depth talk about everything that had happened with Frances. Not just with this trip, but when he'd met Martha all those years ago, and everything since then. They even got into the couple of months where they'd completely fallen out of contact, back when John tried to kill himself by letting himself get shot, and the whole mess surrounding that.

 

It wasn't exactly the kind of fun, lighthearted reunion that either of them had planned, but it felt kind of good to talk about it. After all, Junior hadn't even known about Frances before, so closely did he guard that secret. They also did a healthy amount of complaining about their father, now that neither of Junior's daughter's were around. Both of them despised the man, but they weren't so cruel as to shatter the girls' limited view of him as a wonderful grandpa. They could keep it quiet until they were alone with each other. It was funny how little they missed each other until they were together again to remind themselves of all that they weren't getting too do otherwise.

* * *

It was close to three in the morning when John got back, but Philip was awake and waiting for him. Of course he would be, since he wanted to hear all about why John didn't like his dad.

 

"So what's wrong with grandpa?"

 

The voice in the otherwise silent room scared him half to death, but he didn't take too long to regain his composure. "You stayed up?"

 

"Yeah."

 

He really was like Alex, even if he was only ten. "Well then I guess it can't wait until morning, can it?" John sat down on Philip's bed, where the movement wouldn't disturb Alex, who was actually the only one sleeping. "Okay, let's start at the beginning. My dad is a horrible person. He's one of those people who don't like it when two men or two women are in love, even though it doesn't hurt him at all. He doesn't like people not conforming to gender roles, nothing like that. And he's racist too, no matter how hard he pretends he isn't. So you have that horrible mix of characteristics, and you combine it with the fact that he's obsessed with public image, and you've got a mess of a person on your hands. With me so far?"

 

Philip nodded slowly. "I think so." Of course, he didn't have a lot of experience with people like that, so he didn't have anyone to compare to, which made it a little harder to grasp.

 

"He started out hating us from the beginning. He married my mom because she was beautiful and he saw her as being some exotic object instead of a person with a different culture. He saw all women of color that way, as long as they fit with what he thought was pretty, but other than that, he hated people automatically because they weren't white. Especially black or latino men, which meant me and Junior. He thought they were all thugs. Growing up as a kid knowing that your dad hates you, or people like you, is pretty tough. I started doing stuff to impress him. Be the perfect son and all that." He took a minute to look at Philip more seriously. "I know the point of this story is to tell you why you aren't seeing him, but I also want to let you know that you should never do any of this, okay? You could fail every single class in school, and get into drugs or gangs, and we would all still love you. We'd try to help you be safer, but we would always love you, okay?"

 

His kind of son giggled. "Yeah, okay Johndad."

 

"But basically, the point is that I couldn't do anything wrong, or he'd get really mean. Not hitting me or anything, because that's harder to hide, but he would be awful. And he was always awful to Junior, because he picked things up a little slower which meant he was automatically a failure to dad. I didn't want that to be how he treated me, so I made sure I never did bad at anything. Only perfection is not something you can maintain, so that was a bad situation to begin with. My grades didn't start slipping or anything, but my major flaw was being gay, of course, and I started to really realize that it was a thing that wouldn't go away in high school. But I was up on this pedestal as the perfect son, and I couldn't be gay, so I hid it from him for years, until he found out about your dad and I by accident. That's where the problem happened. He was so mad at me for disgracing him or whatever, and in the end he told me that I wasn't his son and never spoke to me again. He wouldn't even say goodbye. That was twelve years ago."

 

It was quiet for a long time while Philip tried to absorb that information. It was clear just looking at him that he couldn't fathom the idea of a parent doing something like that. Honestly it was a good thing to see, because a ten year old should not have been able to understand that. They should think that parents are always supportive. Finally he asked, "How could he do that?"

 

It wasn't really an easy question. "You know, it's hard to say. I still don't really get it, even now. I guess he's just a really hateful person deep down, to the point where even his family isn't good enough. I know he's also used to getting what he wants, and I still think that a part of him expects me to leave your dad and suddenly love women and come running back to him. I know he wouldn't accept me for any less, so I just don't try."

 

"And you think he would do that to me?"

 

"I don't know what he'd do to you, but it would be mean. You don't need to know a person like that. You're better off without him."

 

Philip nodded and hugged him tightly "Hey Johndad?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I think you're perfect just the way you are, and I'm glad you married dad."

 

"Thanks, I am too."

* * *

The next two days were horribly boring for Philip. He liked Frances, and he just wanted to hang out with her again, but both of his dads said that it would be rude to barge in on Thanksgiving since it was a family holiday, and despite blood relations, they definitely weren't family. It was stupid, but he didn't argue. Sometimes adults were just stupid about certain things, and you had to ignore it. What he didn't understand was why they couldn't see her the next day. Sure it was Black Friday, and this was kind of a big city, but honestly traffic couldn't be that bad! Of course, when he'd pointed that out, his dad had just told him that Johndad absolutely wouldn't go to Frances' house, and anywhere else would be crowded and they didn't want to loose him in an unfamiliar place. So basically another lame excuse.

 

Two unbearably boring days where all they did was go out for dinner and hang out with Uncle Junior and Aunt Jenna, and his little cousins, Katie and Ellie. Not that he didn't like them, but he already knew them really well, and he'd only met his big sister one time. She was so cool! She was pretty, and seemed really nice to everyone except Johndad. Philip didn't exactly like that she was mean to him, but he figured she'd come around eventually. After all, she didn't even know Johndad, so it was easy for her to hate him now. Once she got to know him, that would change.

 

They met at IHOP and then Martha took them to the mall. She wasn't going to stay with them (one of the advantages of being with a fifteen year old) but she was going to wait. Johndad hadn't really wanted Martha to drive Philip anywhere, but he hadn't resisted too much either. He would go somewhere with Dad and maybe Uncle Junior.

 

It was great. Frances showed him all the cool stores, like the LEGO store and a place that sold fancy chocolates and fudge. They got a big chunk of peanut butter fudge to split, and then sat at the tall stools by the counter so they could watch them make everything while they ate. He even got to meet two of her friends who happened to be around, a tall boy and a short girl. They thought it was really cool that she had a new little brother now, and the boy even gave him a rubber duck keychain that he had on his lanyard. He said he didn't need it and that scientist duck was perfect for Philip. It was the best present ever. He especially liked the spiky white Einstein hair.

 

Unfortunately, they had to leave early in the afternoon so that Philip could spend all of Sunday with his moms, so he didn't get to spend as much time together as he would have liked. He did ask Frances if they could come and see her again sometime though.

 

"Are you and my father a matching set, or could it be just you and Alex next time?" She smiled when she said it, so he was pretty sure it was a joke.

 

"Johndad has to come too," he lied. Actually Johndad probably wanted to stay as far away from her as possible, but she didn't need to know that. "But maybe next time you can meet my moms!"  


 

She gave him a hug and told him that she looked forward to it, and then he got into the car with his dads and they drove away. He was going to miss Frances, but he knew that he'd be seeing her again. Now that he knew about her, they were going to be brother and sister for life.

**Author's Note:**

> There'll be more Frances stuff coming, I promise! Also this took forever bc college started and I'm drowning in a sea of tears and responsibility. Comment or come talk to me at incredibly-cold.tumblr.com!


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